Cardiac Puzzle

When your heart stops working, life isn't the same, the birds do not chirp as beautifully, In-N-Out burger doesn't taste as good and the sun doesn't rise. Our heart has a natural barrier, it's originally protected but then we meet the magicians in our life that can somehow enter our being and leave with our heart in their hands. The hard part is that we never know if they will use their powers for good or evil or if they will take care of it like we want them too. They may not even have space for it and therefore must drag it behind them. And when they give it back, after we were controlled by the Lord by pure love, it's alien. We don't want it. We closed the space in our body because we felt that we would never receive it again. That's why we lent it out in the first place. My heart isn't for rent. But sometimes, most times, she doesn't know that. And I'll have to force this deformed piece back into the puzzle of my being. I wanna meet someone that can fix that because truthfully the piece of my puzzle that is missing is your heart.

Actions are LOUD

Your words are formed through a filter. Should I say this, is the time right? But your actions, they're instinctive. They appear even when you cannot get your words out. They are reactions in their truest form. And for that I say words pale in comparison. Now words are still a beautiful thing but the movements of people are majestic. As kids we all loved arts and crafts over reading and it was because our actions are our own creations. Inspiration not to be withheld by standards. Innately we know that the way we move is a beautiful thing. For instance, take a picture. Unlike a poem or a diary entry, it's meaning evolves every time you look at it. You learn something new every time. It's worth a 1000 words. Her actions are what I remember. I could explain what she did but if you saw her move, then you would know that my words do not do her justice. I loved the way she skipped to see me and ran to me and would shuffle her feet and create a sound I would call love. Love, a word that equates action.

From the WestSide with Love

Just days after I turn 18 and enter adulthood, I experience inspiration once again. Another chance to get it all out per say. You know I never had a childhood or high school sweetheart, a girl to just be inseparable with. I always got close to only be left with the only bad question... What If? To completely be unappreciative of my childhood would be selfish and naive, but there are some things I wanted to do like take a girl I actually like to a dance or take a girl on a date to the fair and win her a big teddy bear and kiss her at the top of the Ferris wheel. Cute shit like that. It almost feels like something is missing. In English, we learned about this thing called archetype. Its basically a template and thanks to the guidance of the Disney channel and teen movies, I have failed to fulfill it. The checkbox remains unmarked and I remain... alone. It sounds depressing but due to my current lack of the command of the English language, I cannot put it into jollier words. The point is I start to feel that there is something wrong with me. It can happen so sudden, one moment its all flowers and rainbows and the next you begin to hate yourself, and label yourself an outcast because you're a little different. And after a while you begin to notice that the only thing that was wrong with you is that you wanted to be a copy when we all know that the original is better. Now in terms of the problem with girls, I'm still a little lost. Just bad timing or maybe there's a fear within them that you could potentially be the one. At that point they have to be willing to give themselves to you and that's a huge commitment. So instead of being sad that I'm potentially the perfect guy(not trying to sound cocky) I'll just keep trying to sell my brand of love until I find the highest bidder.