Windows

Life is all about windows, not doors. You always hear the phrase, opening doors, but what's behind those doors... windows. Otherwise your entering an environment without escape. Well, Prince, can't you go back out the door you came? I say in life you got to keep it moving and going back as an escape, running back to rely on your past isn't an option for me. I say escape because staying in one spot isn't going to help you live 100%. Why? You're staying in one place and after awhile your buzz goes down. You can't use the same moves in chess and win every time. And the door is only to enter like into a room and you learn everything in the room and then you must exit out of the house through the window in order to make a name for yourself. You entered a door someone else entered but why be satisfied with someone else achievements? Now your next task is to get out of tyhe window before it closes. How does that work? Well, no matter what you do you are always, always going to have competition and someone just might exit the window before you. Why can't I just use a different window? Well, one, the room may only have one window and, two, I don't like anyone to take something that is mine so I want to be first out of that window, just my pride. So, since you didn't use the window in time you have to exit the door and find a whole new room(area of interest) and hope that you will be the first out of that window and out of the house(environmet such as ghetto). So here's the new saying, "I'm getting through that window."

Fitting In

Wow, this topic made me who I am today. It's the most influential factor in a teen's life and has lasting impressions all the way up to adulthood. The true final frontier isn't space but high school. It's chaotic and the margin for error is extremely small, I mean extremely. High school is for refinement and truly, it's a test of how well your parents raised or how you came up for that matter. In middle school you can be one guy and over the summer become someone completely different. And here in California, there is no different. Growing up so far as a black kid with curly hair and wit has been hard. Those attributes aren't the norm for a teenage black boy. So not only is it hard to find people to be true with you, you have to break the stereotype everyday for every encounter. And this is true for all people who "dare to be different." Prince, why can't every one take the time to get to know people individually? Because it takes time away from themselves. Building their rep up or fixing their hair, lol. And the hardest part is fighting back. All our lives we are told that the majority rules... well, I say fuck the majority for being fucking stupid, ya digg? Be like everyone else is what others want because at the end of the day, they matter more to themselves than you do. Whack, ain't it? Our idols weren't like anyone else and if we want to follow in their footsteps, why should we? Nature selects the weak and extinguishes them from society. How many retarded deer do you know, lol? I'll wait..... none. Everywhere, us Cali boys go, we are called Hollywood, lol, and girls Barbie because we grow up and around the fake. Heart and sincerity do not exist here. Shit, chivalry died like baggy jeans. You see, I left my first high school. It was D-1 and being a frosh made me insignificant, especially. I was also a square but I didn't know. And who I thought were my best friends, hated me and as soon as a majority arose I was out casted. Now there is some real people there but they are outnumbered and now they are going through what I did. For me, I played basketball and was a nerd. My teachers were asking me to tutor the whole football team, lol. But God's hand touched me that year. I got the opportunity to go to school with kids who are book smart and the standard of living changed 180. I fit in. We have 6 billion people here on Earth, there's someone like you who make you feel as God intended, comfortable. "Be yourself, because everyone else is taken." - Oscar Wilde

Swagga

Hmmm, what can I say about this. If you haven't heard about this trend... where have you been? I mean has the world got this pathetic that society has no talent but having money and having a cool walk? WTF? This is what puts you at the top of society's hierarchy. No longer is being able to play music or play sports cool. You have to do what everyone else does and maybe you will be accepted. Keyword mybe. If you have anything going for you after high school, then you're a square or lame. You're an outcast because you may swagg splash on someone else. Biggest rule is, "Do not be a threat." And I'm not going to burn you guys and say its all your fault, Ladies. You do not make it any better, lol. But what i want to know is why would you get with the pretty boy who depends on Mom and Pops after graduation. Make a future is what I'm trying to say. Dating is a waste of time if your just looking for status because you lose the possibility of happiness. Your not living life. Whatever Prince. Your bugging. Naww, I'm not. High School isn't LIFE. No one cares how cool you were Junior year. At your reunion, it's about who made something out of their lives. Now I understand that you feel that having the dopest girl is what's up but instead you become jealous and scared because you're just a fad. You're hot now, you got the swagga now but, let's say things change. Your financial situation isn't what it used to be and you cannot keep up with fashion. Here is what you're going to hear... Bye Nigga. Fads die and then come back 15 years later as RETRO. Played out, period. Create Future.

Impact

Let's start with the definition. Impact - influence; effect. I believe it's lost it's meaning... to the eye. The present tense eye. Prince, what are you talking about? I'm talking about giving credit where's its due before someone is dead. Society, today, is pretty fucked up. It's about being top dog, and it's always has, but now it rules our lives. Fights and feuds are started just over who did it first. You have to be the best and do it without humility. Why is it that girls look for a guy who isn't cocky but confident? This guy doesn't exist! If a guy is cocky then he is strong in who he is. Instead of cocky, I call it, hella confidence. Ladies, if a guy walks out the door with confidence in a dog eat dog situation, he's done. He's going to get picked on and let's be real... we got EGOS! Okay you can try to find that one guy that wants to be confident but i bet you he isn't doinjg anything with his life. Or better yet, he's not looking for impact. Michael Jackson had impact... the world cried for him... after he died. In America he was a child molester and across the world an icon. He did tours in Europe, not here. Why? Because he was respected and now that he's dead a light went on and now he's cool again. We want him back in America where we kicked him out. Guys, if you go to one of your friends MySpace page and there is nothing but pictures of the same guy, what do you say? Get off that nigga's dick. We become gay for idolizing someone? Fuck you, real talk. Death is not meant for you to finally give someone credit. No one knew who Mac Dre was before he died. I didn't. His death put the hyphy movement on blast. WTF? Someone's impact should be celebrated while he's alive because that's what we live for. We tear down all competition so we can be at the top and we cannot get any credit unless we are dead because someone is trying to take our spot. In addition, you have to be hard nowadays to be aight. Fuck that. Straight up I'm going to tell you that I love R&B and Slow Jams, period. I'm not knocking gangbanging but you look fucking stupid if you're trying to learn every rapper's spit and you plan on living past 18. What are you going to use it for? So you can show your friend how hard you are? Well, nigga, that shit isn't going to fly because now the respect you because they are scared of you and as soon as another nigga rolls by that's harder your homies are gone. Good shit nigga. I don't know about you but when I go, I want the world to mourn my death. Not because that's in style but because of true sincerity. Just give credit while he's alive so he can enjoy it.

Letting Go

Ahhhh, one of the toughest things of the teenager's life. A time when we explore intimacy and learn what type of girl would work best with us as adults and such. Especially tough when we meet our first love who we really feel like is the one and we wake up every morning smiling because someone out there that does not have to unconditionally love us actually loves us. We feel stable and our chest gets to stick out a little and we get a little hair on our chest(figures of speech ladies, lol). There's completion where there wasn't before. Then we get ahead of ourselves and our guard is let down. Ignorance is the worst thing in life, it leads to becoming naive and in the end an idealist. And then we lose them. They controlled our emotions and our moods and now it feels as if the world doesn't spin without her. We, no our body and mind, wants that feeling back where it cannot be anymore. The relationship has to evolve just like nature. The relationship adapts for survival.... survival. The whole point of our existence is to survive and evolve as people, beings, into purity. Thus, feelings have to change and we HAVE to change with them. The hardest part is in the wake of a break-up where there is the period of wonder. Do I call or talk to her? Do I make eye contact, which is especially hard if i go to school with the girl? Decisions, decisions.... all part of growing up. I cannot tell you yes or no. I do not your specific relationship. You have to decide. The thing is though, is that if you truly love this person, then make the decision that will cause the least stress and also give yourself a chance later in life to be with that person when the circumstances have changed perhaps. We're young so there's no point in becoming bitter of depressed because there really is hella fish in the sea.

How To Get Over Her

• Hang Out With Single Friends
• Find A Hobby That Gives You More Joy Than Her(Yes It's Out There)
• Do Not Feel Sorry For Yourself And Get Out Of The House
  
• Get A New Girl But Do Not Look For Love Immediately But Friendship
• Listen To Her And Figure Why It Didn't Work

The First Girl

(Disclaimer - Only For Those Who Are No Longer With Their First Girl)
Okay, prepare yourself guys because I'm going to open up a wound and pour a little lemonade on it. I'm talking about that first girl you have ever fallen for. You remember how you thought she was a goddess out of Greek Mythology. She was a fallen angel and somehow you got her. It was like God reached into your dreams and designed this perfect girl to the T. You've liked girls before but this was your first real girl, not the elementary girlfriends. I remember her. I had it bad, I mean it was like in the movies when the boy falls for his first girl and he can't eat or sleep and acts like the living dead. He was constantly dozing off from wherever his concentration should have been and for a while the world revolved around her. Then you have to work up the Kahones to go talk to the girl and despite your mumbling, clammy self she actually likes you, lol. Damn, life just gave you a pure dose of pure bliss. I couldn't focus on anything. I probably could not tell you what happened that day if it happened 5 minutes before. She was perfect and she like me so I couldn't even suspect anything suspicious. Even though your friends say she's a certain type of girl, you do not listen. She's my angel and there isn't anything foul about it. So, there was no reason to put your guard up and that's when it hurts the most. It didn't last forever and you sit there wondering to yourself, What Happened? She was into me and I was into her. So now your brought back to the real world and reality sets in. You want someone to feel the pain you felt. You want some other girl to lose a part of their innocence, not sexually but mentally. You really only want one Band-Aid too to cover the scar, HER'S, but you and everybody else knows you can't have it. She becomes this bitch, bop, hoe, you take your pick. It's not her fault though. As humans we are born with 1% of knowledge, of being a complete human being and through life we become wiser. The struggles is what gives your more percentage. On this test, of life, you score higher with the more misses than makes, as long as you do not make the same mistake twice. However, nothing in life, existance is 100%. Awww, you played me Prince, I thought you work yourself through life to get 100%. Well you do... on your individual test but not the universal... you don't live that long, lol. But back to the girl, because she broke your heart, you get stronger(all those corny lines your parents told you make sense now, lol). In sports, you don't get stronger in the gym, situation, buy while your resting so your muscles can rebuild stronger so you don't hurt yourself again. In the end, without first girl you can't have Second Girl and seconds are always better like cold pizza. I thank you first girl... you gave me 5% more on my test..... bitch, bop, hoe, you take your pick.

Darkness

It's impossible to go through life without encountering hardships and we are going to say that these hardships lie in the darkness. Sometimes your situation may be so dark that you are unable to see your hand in front of your face. And your ultimate goal in the darkness is to reach light, right? So, as you move towards your goal you bump into things in the darkness, obstacles, hardships. You have to overcome these obstacles, you have to persevere for the the goal or be forever left in the darkness. To remind you, you are "blinded" by the darkness and cannot truly make out what you feel, so you overcome the obstacle as best as you can. Then, you reach the light and sigh of relief is the icing on the cake. And with this newfound light, you should look back at the darkness. Analyze, analyze, analyze. Study your obstacles inside and out. You might have handled one hardship perfectly and another not so great but, you have to pick up the skills,flashlights, to fully understand your obstacle because as life has taught us many times, nothing leaves forever and forever never exists. Now the next time when your in the dark and you feel something similar to before, use your flashlights to reveal what it is. Without the dark, light doesn't exist. We do not learn without trial and error and sometimes those once hidden obstacles in the darkness reflect the light we use to reveal the obstacle completely. Sometimes the darkness reflects the light 2, 3 ,4, 5 times stronger.

Past, Present and Future

One of my favorite songs is, "It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday" by BoyzIIMen. Why? Well, honesty I like the sound it has, the melody, but just thinking about the last few years and such, that song gained meaning to me. Yes, all songs have a meaning and a reason for being wrote. The main inspiration for a song is drawn from a person's personal experience mainly used for the expansion of the mind, a shoulder to cry on or to give light to questions the consumer has regarding the topics that are present in the music. However, these songs aren't immediately able to fuse with the listener and, thus, it takes time for the listener to bond with the song and give it meaning. Well, in the case of my song I look back at the past and I mostly remember the good. I'm not talking about my past relationship with someone but the overall time that I knew that person. I mean what went on during that time I knew that person. All I can do is long for those days of jumping on the trampoline with my cousins or just being in a time where pressure did not exist. This pressure that comes with becoming a functioning, contributing member to society. You see, your body wants to be balanced. Better yet your mind. In order to stay healthy and to keep your "glow," your mind needs to be relaxed and in a state of bliss. So, subconsciously, as time goes on, you delete the bad memories from your conscious state of mind or sometimes out of your memory forever depending on the severity of the bad memory. However, those memories can sometimes arise due to a drastic event but, that's another blog, lol. What I'm trying to get at is, "yesterday is for the glory." Those memories are like highlight reels on ESPN and should give you a sense of joy and should be analyzed so in the future your life becomes easier. It's hard to say goodbye to yesterday but yesterday gave you what you have today and today gives you what you have tomorrow, so do not stay in yesterday because you become lost in the joy and you forget to prepare today and you may end up with nothing tomorrow.

Dreams

If I can only have you in my dreams, then why is it called a dream? Dreams are for little kids who have their whole life before them. So why do i have dreams of you? My dream is mockery of what can never be and therefore I must call it a nightmare. Its a tease of reality and, well, kids have dreams for they are unable to distinguish between reality and fantasy. But I have dreams in hope of what may become in my life. They give me a reason to wake up, which is the worst part. But when I return to reality and I finally get you, I can have you forever and not just for 8 hours a night. So, in truth, the label, dream, makes sense and is not fantasy so I thank you for being my Dream Girl.

Force

You can not force love upon someone. It's virtually impossible to manipulate another's mind into feeling something that is meant to be organic. I guess that's why nutritionists advise us to not eat anything with any type of artificial flavoring or coloring. The taste isn't natural and the covering is just smoke and mirrors hiding what's truly there and the same goes for love. Force is energy exerted upon an object. Most of the time, the force we feel is a result of two forces that are not equal and therefore unbalanced. Here's your answer to, "When am I going to use fractions in real life?" When force is applied to love, then it's not love anymore. In the dictionary, love is defined as a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. My definition is a feeling where you and another become one mentally, physically and spiritually one person. Keyword is "become." Love grows on you, it's not just developed over night, thus cannot be forced. But what about love at first sight. I feel, like many other things in life is, that it is just another phenomenon where Lady Luck was on your side. But even there, the love starts off as a strong physical attraction where you could see yourself growing old with that person. If love at first sight was true, meaning no loophole or under any special circumstances like the sun will rise and the sun will set, then people would fall in love left and right. When you believe you love the person you have just saw, subconsciously you picture yourself smiling and feeling happy. You automatically give your "lover" certain characteristics that fit with yours. However, your "lover" turns out to be somebody else and you have just experienced artificial love. A love where one person ideally fantasizes about another, who may not always feel the same way. In the end the person most eager ends up hurt from his or her own "force."

Maybe

If your a hooper, when you first see a new pair of shoes or basketball rocked by your favorite player, you immediately want it. You try everything to get that basketball. You ask your friends, what is the best way to get it, and then you finally do. Words cannot express what you feel at this point. The feeling of getting something you have been thinking about nonstop is one to be cherished as well as the basketball. Now this basketball is crisp, hard and you have to get a feel for it. You work on your game everyday with this ball, day nad night. You think you have a feel for this ball and as time goes on the ball changes. The ball changes for various reasons as well. The amount of time you have spent with the ball or the conditions you were in with the ball are all factors that contribute to this smoothing out of the basketball. And in order to keep your feeling for the ball you must adjust. If you adjust to fast, however the ball will end up worse than it would faster than if you adjusted at the right pace. In addition, if adjust too slow the ball will just pass on to antoher who can. Then the day comes. The day when everything you put into your game comes to light, GAMEDAY. It's a struggle, best believe, but throughout you kept your head. The game is on the line and in your hands. Your shot looks good but you missed and you lose. After the game you wonder how did i miss that even after all the practice. It stays in your head for awhile. Maybe you put too much on the shot or not enough. Maybe you did not practice enough or the right way. Maybe you did not do all the intangibles necessary. Maybe you fooled yourself this whole time, that you were that good. Maybe you were not ready. Maybe you was using the wrong ball all along. How you act now, though, is going to affect your game later on. Just try to remember that a good shooter always keeps a smile because he knows that you get more than one shot, for that one, special trophy.